Category Archives: 4. POETRY

Cataract Poem

(sing to the tune to of “My Darling, Clementine”) In my eyeball In the lens part There’s a film that’s forming there, I see dancing  Lights all over But I cannot comb my hair. ____________________________________________ I have seen a  Caterpillar  Caterwalker, that’s a fact, But I cannot See at all with This confounded cataract. _______________________________________________Continue reading “Cataract Poem”

CHEST PAIN POEM

(Sing this to the tune of “Mary Had A Little Lamb”) There’s a pain inside my chest          What a pest          I need a rest’ I put my pill under my tongue          Now it’s gone away. ______________________________ My friends all tell me not to smoke          What a joke          I need aContinue reading “CHEST PAIN POEM”

SNORING

(to: “Singin’ in the Rain”) I’m snoring while I sleep, It’s making my wife weep, This happens every time, When I’m through with counting sheep. _________________________________ There’s a gurgle in my throat, And a blockage in my nose, Yes, the kids can hear it, too, ‘Cause it’s shaking the whole house. ___________________________________ Hear the rumbleContinue reading “SNORING”

Song of Heartburn

(sing to the tune of: “Battle Hymn of the Republic”) My throat has felt the fire of the acid once again It scored a high of nine-point-five on scale of one to ten I know it’s bound to fade but I will guzzle milk till then                   My heartburn rages on.                   (chorus)                   I’veContinue reading “Song of Heartburn”

ALLERGY SEASON

(to the tune: “You Are My Sunshine”) Again, it’s springtime             The grass is growing And as the rains go             My snout is blowing                         I’ve got the itches                         As my nose twitches                                     (I know)                                     The season of allergy is here. (CHORUS) Oh, we’ve got flowers Through all the hours, AndContinue reading “ALLERGY SEASON”

THE MONSTER MASK

 (sung to the tune of the 1962 song: “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett)                                                                                     (words by Jack Zoldan) My sister Judy took her sewing machine, Gonna make a face cover that is cooler and mean; She added ear holders, and these are the facts, Soon we all started wearing our monster masks.             We woreContinue reading “THE MONSTER MASK”

Balding – a poem

(sing it to the tune of: “Blowing in the Wind”) How many times can I have a new transplant?             And watch when it falls out again? How many creams can I rub into my scalp?             To keep it from shining in the sun. What can I do to improve my visage?             AllowingContinue reading “Balding – a poem”