The Passover Seder is a gathering for a meal in commemoration of the night preceding the exodus from Egypt by the Hebrew slaves. The structure of the evening is laid out in the traditional Passover Haggadah. There are many recent updates to this book that present differing views of the rituals and the ideas accompanying this biblical episode.
In the traditional service, the primary objective is stated that in following the Haggadah, we should all experience the actual event of coming out of Egypt. Many aspects of this ritual recall the happenings surrounding the exodus. These include the initial description of coming to and leaving Egypt, the symbolism of the foods, the reciting of the ten plagues, the instruction to lean while drinking wine, and others.
The Haggadah also talks about the Four Sons. These boys are assigned different characteristics. One is wise; one is wicked, one is simple, and one does not know how to ask a question. Each has his origin in the Torah.
The “wicked” is wicked because he asks “What does this service mean to you?” The Haggadah places emphasis on the word “you,” meaning this son does not feel he is a participant in the enterprise. He is seen as a rebel who does not believe in God and the significance of the Bible and the experience of coming to, being in, and coming out of Egypt. He only cares about himself.
How should we look at the question by and the answer to the “wicked son” in the Passover Haggadah? Some of the disconnects in this issue come from the fact that the wicked son’s question is asked in the Torah and a much more benevolent answer is given.
In the Torah, the passage is as follows:
“ Exd 12:26 And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? Exd 12:27 That ye shall say, It [is] the sacrifice of the LORD’S passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses. And the people bowed their heads and worshiped.”
In the Haggadah, the passage is as follows:
“What does this service mean to you? The answer in the Haggadah (and in the Torah verse that introduces this son, but not as being wicked) is: “It is because of this that G‑d acted for me when I left Egypt” (Exodus 13:8). The overall negativity of this view is expressed in the Haggadah as follows: “If he were there (and he was not, and cannot have been, because of his self-exclusion) he would not have been redeemed.”
Also, the same answer is given to the son “who does not know how to ask” that is given to the wicked son. This is despite no question being asked.
In fact, the so-called “wicked son” is the only one to challenge the concepts and precepts. He exhibits a thoughtful desire to examine the meaning of what is happening. The “wise son” expresses an interest in following the servicer and accepting the dogma without question.
The reaction of the father to being questioned is entirely inappropriate. The leader of the seder is supposed to be an educator. That person is not tasked with handing out bumper sticker sayings and having them accepted without thought or reasoned evaluation.
Although, it is true, that there are times when a teacher or a parent or a leader must give orders to be followed blindly, without question. An army in the middle of a battle must function that way.
Elsewhere in the Bible, the People are told to observe in a certain way, and they respond “We will do and we will listen.” This is interpreted to mean that God’s instructions (often given through Moses the teacher) should be followed without preceding teaching. Understanding will come from the experience itself and the growth and maturity that follows. This is not a bad idea: a parent may tell a child not to play with fire before the child can grasp the problem of manipulating this potentially harmful substance. And the recently freed slaves are, in many ways, like children. They cannot comprehend the underlying motivations for doing the things they have to do to spiritually advance themselves.
On the other hand, the “wicked son” presents as someone with a developing brain who seeks deeper insight into the festival of Passover. The seder is a long evening ripe with opportunity for reflection, seeking clarity, and meditation. No one’s ideas should be dismissed or minimized.
I think this boy gets a bad reputation in order for the composers of the Haggadah to make a point. I have studied many interpretations of what this point may be. I am not going to go into these concepts here, except to say that they are pretty flimsy in comparison to someone using their God-given brains to seek answers and truths instead of just going along for the ride or sitting there staring forward.
The “wise” son wants to know how to be successful and how he should use the rituals to gain understanding and insight. The “simple” son struggles to gain knowledge that eludes him but he recognizes as being important. The son “who does not know how to ask a question” is floundering in life and stumbles over himself as he looks for the truth in Exodus from Egypt but is too overwhelmed to even start the search. The “wicked” son is not wicked; he merely desires wisdom and asks for deep meaning very directly.
The father need not take offense at his authority being questioned and lash out at this boy. He sounds like a bureaucrat. Bureaucrats make rules they expect to be obeyed and not challenged once the rules have passed some review process. They get angry and react with anger when these rules are questioned.
Human verbal interaction is a forum for the sharing of ideas. A person’s or a society’s response to a new idea (or one opposed to preconceived or accepted dogma) covers the gamut from thoughtful consideration and acceptance, to laughter and mocking, to criticism and ostracism, to dismissal and loss of respect, to anger and threatening, to imprisonment and even death. We are quite a species.
The Passover Seder – signifying freedom from tyranny, enslavement, and the imposition (by oneself or others) of limitations in how one may live a life – can be an ideal setting for dialogue and social discourse. As we free ourselves from the domination of more powerfully oppressive individuals, cultures, or sovereignties, we can learn to believe in our personal abilities to express thoughts in a friendly and receptive atmosphere.
That is certainly not the case for the so-called “wicked” son. This person tried to deeply understand, but the Haggadah brands him as being self-centered, rejecting truth, and deserving exclusion. I do not agree that this is consistent with the spirit of Passover.
These four characteristics of children (sons and daughters) are shared by all of us. They are universal problems in the human psyche. There are many other types of children that could and probably should have been included. For example, there could have been a truly wicked son who would deny the right of others to observe their religion as they desire, assuming they were harming no one.
I think the “wicked” son is presented as wicked with an agenda to have the message and the authority accepted as from God and not to be questioned. But the Torah explicitly says that its contents are not in Heaven, they are within us and available to us.
We should always question ideas and assumptions that are presented as God given absolutes. Science does not resolve; it evolves. God is revealed by our spiritual experiences.
The Seder is a service that encourages questions, dissent, and discussion. This interchange of ideas leads to growth and understanding, ultimately engendering compassion and bonding among the participants. If a member of the group is rebellious or dismissive, even antagonistic or critical, reacting angrily is the opposite of the spirit of the event.
Whatever a person has to say contains value, at least to that person; but all ideas resonate with others to some degree. The lesson of the seder is to learn new beliefs, opinions, and imaginings while sharing historical and spiritual experiences. This is accomplished by considering differing viewpoints. Certainly standing on a principle and responding negatively is incompatible with this goal.
Oh, if only this principle of listening to others without reflex condemnation were the norm today. As “a light unto the nations,” we should use the Seder to promote a wide ranging marketplace of ideas and perspectives. We should question our own positions. We should allow that no one knows it all and there is value to hearing concepts outside our comfort zones.
There is nothing static in this world. Change is constant and not necessarily predictable, especially as our biases activate. Therefore, understanding of anything always remains fluid. There is no final judgment that we are privy to.
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For more of this type of commentary, read my other blogs on health of the body and spirit at www.soulbodydrz.com
Health and Spirit by Dr. Jack Zoldan 